I Still Love Him
by Lovely.ExOh
Summary: Same story as 'I Still Love Her' just in a new perspective.-- Kris Furillo has always wondered if it was really possible to feel your heart break, and now she has her answer.


**A/N: This is a kind of sequel to my one shot "I still love her". It's actually more like the same story, only it's told in Kris's perspective instead of Junior. Enjoy :)**

_Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down  
It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now  
Not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver  
I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence  
So please just break the silence_

I always used to wonder if it was possible to for your heart to really break. Feel it crack into two pieces and die, right inside your body. I had always wondered what happened to those people who it happened to. Did they go on living? Would they ever really love someone or something again?

But as of this moment, I knew that answer. My heart hurt so much he might as well have stabbed it and then twisted the knife. How could he be getting married? I couldn't breath. I was going to suffocate, I couldn't speak. The only thing I could do was feel the pain. I looked up at the windows and I saw him. His hair is slicked and perfect. His eyes are shiny, sympathetic, sad. I wave to him and he graces me with a smile, and he rests the palm of his hand against the glass pane of his window. When I can't look at him anymore, I lower my face away, and that's when I realize, I'm crying.__

The whispers turn to shouting  
The shouting turns to tears  
Your tears turn into laughter  
And it takes away our fears

I don't know what it is that makes me love him like I do. I'm not sure if it's because he loved me back, and that's more than I can ask for from anyone. Maybe it's his eyes, how they always seem to strip me and bare my soul. It might be because he knows what hurts me, and how to fix everything.

Or maybe I just love him, because he's Junior Davis.__

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you

I'm sitting down at he's at the end of the isle, waiting for her. I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to stand up and beg him not to do this, kiss him so passionately we both forget there are other people around. But I don't. Instead, I take the cowards way out and let him do what he wants, because loving something means letting it go, letting it live, letting it love who it wants. The music starts to play and my head falls into my hands, heavy from trying to act like him getting married to someone else is no big deal.__

And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling  
I'm feeling inspired  
My world just flip turned upside down  
It turns around, say what's that sound  
It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder  
My heart beat, is stronger than ever  
I'm feeling alive, I'm feeling alive  


She looks so beautiful walking down the isle. I think that if I had to give him up to anyone, I think I would choose Laura. I wonder if they've slept together. I wonder if Junior memorized his first time with her like I memorized my first time with him. Probably. Maybe that's just a line he uses on everyone. But in my heart, I know that that isn't true. At least my heart is desperately hoping that it isn't.

_  
My whispers turn to shouting  
The shouting turns to tears  
Your tears turn into laughter  
And it takes away our fears_

When the preacher starts talking, Laura reaches out and takes Junior's hand. His hand is slack in hers, but it hurts to see them be affectionate none-the-less. She smiles at him and he lowers his head like he didn't notice. When the preacher says the word love, I want to vomit. I grab at my stomach and I bend over a little. When I'm sure I'm not going to get sick, I gather my things to leave. Dani lightly puts a hand on my arm and asks me something, but I don't hear her, and I pretend to ignore her. I walk out of the isle, out of the tent, out of my heartbreak.__

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you  


I make my way to Wildfire's stall. He is munching on hay, but as soon as he sees me, he stops, like he really knows that something is wrong. I reach out and I rub between his eyes and he groans in pleasure. I love that he is always here for me, even when no one else is. I rest my forehead against his and he is still, careful to make sure that I'm comfortable I sob into him and start to talk.

"God help me I love him." I cry. "What should I do? Please make this pain in my heart go away. Please make the nightmares of them together stop. Please, please, please."

_  
I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story  
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me  
I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story  
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me  
That's what you get  
When you see your life in someone else's eyes  
That's what you get, that's what you get  
_

Suddenly there are footsteps rushing up behind me, and I turn to look, but my lips are enveloped in someone else's. My eyes close on instinct, even though I want to know who it is, but when his lips move, I relax and melt against him.

**Junior.**

I kiss back like my life depended on it, and to be honest, that's what it felt like. I wonder why he isn't with Laura, being married, being happy with his wife, dancing away the night and eating cake, but that's when I realize.

I honestly don't care.

_  
So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
This world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you_

It's been exactly three years to the day that this all happened. I am lying on our bed. He is lying next to me, smiling and showering me with kisses. I am completely in bliss, nothing can get better than it is right now. Then he touches my cheek, and kisses my palm. I squirm in pleasure. Then he reaches his hand out slowly, tentatively, and he touches my stomach. It is round and swollen with our baby. I can tell that it's going to be the most perfect baby on the planet, because it's his and mine.


End file.
